Integrative Essay: The Creation, Fall, and Redemption of David Ryou

Born in St. Louis, Missouri in the year of 1991, I marked the new beginning of my two parents, recent immigrants from South Korea. My father, Joseph, still a seminary student at the time, decided to continue his studies at Holland, Michigan. So the new Ryou family moved to Michigan, where most of my early childhood became my fondest memories. Growing up like the typical “American child of the 90’s”, I experienced the golden “Pokémon Era”, along with memorable movies such as Toy Story and the Lion King. Looking back, I remember the past as a colorful world full of opportunities and creative ideas without boundaries. It was truly, indeed, the “Creation” stage of my life. Innocent, naïve, and new to the world, I simply enjoyed God’s creation and glory for what it was. Like the glory of God portrayed in C.S Lewis’ article “The Weight of Glory”, I saw the vast green fields as the battlefield; the sun as the light-tower; my parents as the King and Queen; my brother a jester; my sister a princess; the wind as a messenger; and myself a hero. This glory of God, shown literally and figuratively around me, seemed to fuse with my imaginative mind. I saw things for what they were; the very value of such things was something direct from God. Plantinga Jr. also describes the appreciative outlook I had toward Creation. “Creation is neither a necessity nor an accident,” were the very words of Plantinga Jr., praising the genuine love of God hidden in His creation. Though young I was, I strongly believe that the joy of my childhood was due to my genuine outlook of the love and beauty of God’s reflection. But sadly, one cannot remain young forever. Slowly, but gradually, all this changed when in 3rd grade, at the peak of my childhood, my father (now graduated from seminary) decided to start his first church in Los Angeles, California, thus marking the end of my “Creation”.

From the perspective of an 8 year old, California was—different. From the dry, more-than-warm climate to the overall diversity of people living there, it was a big change from the four seasoned, mostly-white based community in Michigan. The schools were different too. I was very intimidated by the differences in character among the kids in my new school. Because Pasadena was compromised of mostly ghetto neighborhoods, the schools were usually filled with many kids who were exposed to the harsh realities of gangs, sex, murder, and drugs. Despite my naivety, I was soon to discover the total depravity that was hidden deep inside my “glorious” days in Michigan. Thus my arrival upon the school marked the discovery of “the Fall” in my life. I did not understand why these kids preferred to talk about expensive shoes, baggy jeans, and violence rather than Pokémon cards. At an early age, I slowly became exposed to a world beyond simple playthings. As I became more and more integrated with this new culture of violence, sex, and depravity, the simple, open side of me soon faded away and was replaced by a more complex, cynical side.

And just like that a few years passed by—I graduated from elementary school and went on to a local ghetto middle school nearby. By this time I was already conscious of the many things that surrounded me, and the cynical side of me had evolved into something more complex and dangerous: pride. Despite C.S Lewis’ warning of “Bulverism”, I began to see the world around me as pathetic, self-absorbed, and ignorant through the cold, rash reality that I saw at the time. Little did I know that my self-developed worldview had sprouted from a small seed of sin. I was abstaining from the many physical sins that surrounded me, but the internal sins grew and grew within me, planting seeds of pride, ignorance, and hypocrisy in my heart. My major sin was not pride: it was my lack of perception of the very root of the matter. Plantinga once stated: “The human problem isn’t just ignorance; it’s also stubborn pride. It’s not just oppression; it’s also corruption.” Gradually, but surely, I became a “normal” human being in society – a lying, prideful, self-centered person. And just when I thought that I would dwell like this for the rest of my life, another God-given major event occurred that took my test of faith to the next level – the later stages of “the Fall”.

My father, free spirited, was becoming restless from dwelling in a hot, contained area for so long. He decided to start a new church—this time about 6,000 miles across the Pacific Ocean in South Korea. As a pre-teen, my perspective in life was limited within the boundaries of the United States; I had never even thought about what it was like to live in another country. This got me thinking about faith’s diversity on a wider scale. I began asking questions about where I fit in as an Asian-American in a society where its values and beliefs differed from the “American Dream”. I was at a stage in life where I, the clay, was slowly hardening into a certain figure. My “Bulveristic” attitude towards others and the deep sins of total depravity in my heart were slowly becoming concrete – making me the person C.S Lewis would have cringed at. This hardening of my heart at also affected my own attitude towards Christianity itself. Coming from a pastor’s family from a ghetto in California, I was like the son from C.S Lewis’ “The Sermon and the Lunch”. True to God’s word in public, but ignorant and blunt towards my family within the privacy of our home, I represented the true stereotype of “pastor’s kid”. I was reluctant to change such attitude even beyond the familiar comforts of America. And so, on a rainy July morning, I got on the plane with my family with doubts in my heart.

Upon arrival at the Incheon National Airport, I was overwhelmed with differences in the environment. The air seemed thicker, the primary language switched from English to Korean, and practically everyone was Asian. My parents were quite overjoyed upon returning to their homeland, while I was a bit nervous about interacting with one of these people, for I was a South Korean on the outside, yet on the inside I was an American. We went to our grandmother’s house in Gwacheon, where we dwelled for the time being. This instant change in environment had caught me off guard, but my ways and beliefs seemed to be set in place. Instead of viewing me as a foreigner, my uncles, aunts, and cousins all accepted me as one of their own, showing deep interest in my past life in America, which now seemed like a distant dream. From this encounter with my extended family I learned to accept the differences between the cultures and integrate them into my worldview. But about a few months later, my parents rented an apartment about an hour away from Gwacheon near Seoul. Because of our financial situation at the time, they couldn’t afford to send me to an international school, so they sent me to a public school praying to God that I would somehow learned how to read, speak, and write Korean from scratch. I had to admit, I was pretty angry at my parents at the time, but I realized my deepest fear once I walked in my classroom the first day of class. I remember the teacher asking me to introduce myself, and I simply mumbled a few sentences containing a few Korean and English words. I remember the kids in my class all looking at me with round eyes, as if wondering which planet I came from. To my utter surprise, the faculty and the students were eager to teach me about the way of life here in Korea. In return, I had to answer a million of their questions regarding what we ate (most of them sincerely thought that Americans ate nothing but McDonalds, but I was quick to fix their error), how big our houses were, what we wore, etc. This exchange of knowledge between the two cultures let me gain perspective on the mentality of Americans and Koreans. It truly was a mind boggling experience. Before I knew it, I was beginning to see signs of change in my inner self. Was it maturity coming into effect? I would never know. But what I do know was that the struggles of reality did not cease. My attitude might have improved slightly from the strict culture in Korea, but my faith continued to falter. I strongly believe that C.S Lewis best described this struggle in faith in his book “The Screwtape Letters”, which portrays two demons working together intrinsically to guide believers slowly away from the truth. My old seed of pride had now grown significantly, branching into my faith in Christianity, distorting perspectives which would have pleased Screwtape greatly. But at the same time I was growing and continuing to learn and become more like a human being through the extensive education provided in middle school. So once again time flew by—I completed all three years of middle school with my newfound friends and dear teachers.

Upon entering high school, I began to think seriously about my future career. I wanted to pursue certain areas in life where I would most please God through my services in society. As C.S Lewis stated in “English Syllabus”, we would begin to “learn” on certain fields once we had established a strong educational foundation. Although it was easy to picture such goals, it was truly hard to reach those goals; because when it came to serious education, Korea was off the charts. High school would begin 7:30 in the morning and end at 9:00 at night. All three meals were served at the school, and the teachers weren’t as understanding or compassionate as the middle school teachers I previously had. As if school wasn’t enough, almost everyone went to a night-academy after school to help them understand better the materials they were studying. I remember the buses waiting in front of the school to pick everyone up as soon as classes were finished. Everyone was literally studying all the time, because the rankings of their cumulative grade determined everything. EVERYTHING. This environment in which I grew up in greatly influenced my choices in the type of education I wanted to receive. After discussing this matter with my parents for many months, they decided to send me back to Michigan, hoping that I would manage to re-adjust to the American life after living in South Korea for almost 5 years.

Thus I re-entered American society as a high school student, strikingly different from the skinny, “Bulveristic” kid years ago. Although still in close combat with the internal sin of pride, ignorance, and hypocrisy in my heart, I had become more experienced through the major events God had thrown at me. Slowly, but not yet, I was approaching the post-Fall stage of my life, where I began to see again the little streams of God’s glory that I had been hidden dormant around me all these years since my early childhood. The “redemption” stage of my life was just around the corner. I could not see it, but I knew it was there. Was it faith? I would never know. All I know is that the physical, mental, and spiritual pain I had suffered in life was a constant reminder of a God described in C.S Lewis’ article “Human Pain” – a conqueror who would restlessly recruit members to his heavenly kingdom. I slowly came to a realization that God’s grace was at work in this work, repairing the spirits of those around me and the spirit of my own as well. Plantinga talks of a lifelong conversion called “sanctification”, which is fueled by the motor called “regeneration”. These two graces were and always will be at work in my life.

Blinking my eyes, I realize that I’m at my high school graduation. Blinking again, I see myself enrolling school as a Calvin student. Blinking once more, I see myself sitting in the lobby of my dorm, typing this essay. Although we have all fallen short of the glory of God, we are all the loving creation of God himself. There are things that are experienced, but there are things that still need to be experienced (ex: C.S Lewis’ “The Four Loves). I’ve only lived 19 years, but it seems like I’ve lived longer. Maybe it was the weight of my own sin, I would not know. As finite beings, the rest of this journey of morality cannot be undertaken alone. As C.S Lewis stated in “Man or Rabbit?”: “Morality is a mountain which we cannot climb by our own efforts; and if we could we should only perish in the ice and unbreathable air of the summit, lacking those wings with which the rest of the journey has to be accomplished. For it is from there that the real ascent begins. The ropes and axes are 'done away' and the rest is a matter of flying.”

Works Cited:
Lewis, C.S. "The Weight of Glory." Oxford. Nov. 1941. Address.
Lewis, C.S. Bulverism. N.p.: n.p., n.d. 271-77. Print.
Lewis, C.S. "The Sermon and the Lunch." (). Print.
Lewis, C.S. The Screwtape Letters. United Kingdom: n.p., 1942. Print.
Lewis, C.S. Our English Syllabus. N.p.: n.p., n.d. 81-93. Print.
Lewis, C.S. Man or Rabbit? N.p.: n.p., n.d. 109-13. Print.
Lewis, C.S. The Problem of Pain. N.p.: n.p., 1940. Print.
Lewis, C.S. The Four Loves:Eros. Ireland: Harvest Books, 1960. Print.
Plantinga Jr., Cornelius. Engaging God's WorldW. Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans, 2002. 19-101. Print.

The Wonder of Learning

There is always something beautiful about us. Whether it be small or big, it makes up the beauty of God's creation. When sitting inside my dorm room, I look around and see evidence of two people sharing the room harmoniously, making up the overall impression of the room. But how did two different people, each from states in the opposite corners of the U.S, come to integrate so intricately? Of course, it took substantial amounts of learning about one another, as well as setting rules that applied to both of us and took us accountable for it. This extensive, tiring amount of learning involved is an example that Paul Marshall takes about in his article "The Wonder of Learning".

So what constitutes learning? According to Marshall, it is hard work, perseverance, and integration. One prominent example of perseverance and hard work Marshall talks about from Isaiah 28:23-29.

When a farmer plows for planting, does he plow continually?
Does he keep on breaking up and harrowing the soil?
When he has leveled the surface,
does he not sow caraway and scatter cummin?
Does he not Plant wheat in its Place,
barley in its plot,
ønd spelt in its field?
His God instructs him
and teaches him the right waY.
Caraway is not threshed with a sledge,
nor is a cartwheel rolled over cummin;
Caraway is beaten out with a rod,
and cummin with a stick.
Grain must be ground to make bread;
so one does not go on threshingit forever'
Though he drives the wheels of his threshing cart over
it, his horses do not grind it.
AII this also comes from the Lord Almighty
wonderful in counsel and magnificent in wisdom.

Isaiah 28:23-29

Marshall exclaims that this passage presents to us the necessity for perseverance and hard work. God does not immediately tell the farmer how to plow. The farmer himself must look to his parents, neighbors, and even the earth to learn and develop new skills for farming more effectively. Like this, we must use the God-given tools around us to develop, learn, and connect more effectively. We cannot pray and expect God to suddenly implement knowledge into our brains. Looking around, there are endless possibilities of growing and learning - if you try, that is.

But what I found most important about this article was the implementation of such acquired knowledge. Marshall states that the Bible, the Word of God, does not teach us everything. In certain situations, we must use our knowledge from the Bible and implement it into those situations. And more importantly, there are rules in this world that God has created. Whether it is natural or societal, we must learn the rules FIRST in order to play by it properly. Take the Bible for example. I'm sure that there are rules given to us in the Bible that most Christian know of...(wink wink). Once those rules are integrated within us, we can really grow into the endless world of possibilities God has given us.

Day 13 - Human Pain

Sitting in class, I was struggling to keep awake. Heading bobbing up and down, my arm slipped from the table and hit the side of my own chair. Instantly, a searing pain from the bruised spot woke me up instantly, reminding me once again of the harsh reality of this world. Like from my own personal experience, C.S Lewis talks of many different sorts of pains that exist in this world. Why does pain even exist? Why would a caring, loving God of unlimited grace allow such a thing? In C.S Lewis' following article "Human Pain", he attempts to give a narrow concept of the significance of pain amongst humans.

But before attempting to answer the big question first, Lewis categorizes "pain" into the following two senses:

A. "A particular kind of sensation, probably conveyed by specialised nerve fibres, and recognisable by the patient as that kind of sensation whether he dislikes it or not."

B. "Any experience, whether physical or mental, which the patient dislikes."


Looking at the following two senses, it seems as if B was a greater form of A, although B cannot in a sense be A. So looking at B, C.S Lewis sees it as synonymous with 'suffering','anguish','tribulation','adversity',and even 'trouble'. Because of its relevancy, he states that the rest of the book would be focused on pain in a "B sense".

So when attempting to answer the big question, one might ask smaller questions to reach a certain understanding. "Why is our cure painful?" Is one important question C.S Lewis puts forth. As Christians, aren't we attempting to cure ourselves for the sake of God's glory and honor? The reason for such pain, C.S Lewis states, is that "to render back the will which we have so long claimed for our own, is in itself, wherever and however it is done, a grievous pain."

So we can see that our own selfish will, so integrated within us, is a self-made evil, reluctantly pulled out of us as we attempt to "cure" ourselves through Christ. The pain that comes with such "cure" is a blaring reminder from God of the evils of such pain, caused by the worldly sins. C.S Lewis exclaims:

"But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

C.S Lewis states that without pain, we are forever engulfed in this "illusion". Even with all the money in this world, we "suffer". Even with all the things we'd ever want, we would "suffer". Why? Because we are lacking the very center of our human existence: God. Quite obvious, isn't it? But surprisingly, amidst all the painful reminders, we perceive God as an "intruder" upon the worldly, materialistic things we enjoy doing. We prefer to be engulfed in such ignorance and illusion - to die blissfully in ignorance and suffer eternally. Pain our reminder of evil, whether it is in our actions, thoughts, or beliefs. C.S Lewis states that God is like a "conqueror" - he does not cease to recruit and save EVERY single person. God does not hold grudges or deep feelings of doubt towards others. As stated in the previous post, God's grace is eternal and imminent. Pain is a truly scary thing. It reminds us of something beautiful, heaven, but also of something dangerous: hell.
C.S Lewis states:

"And, of course, pain, like pleasure, can be so received: all that is given to a creature with free will must be two-edged, not by the nature of the giver or of the gift, but by the nature of the recipient."

Day 12 - Why Work?

Especially during the economic recession, everyone is willing to work for wages, high or low. Like during a war, people are in need of clothes, food, and other necessities that would usually be thrown away during "normal" times. We can see from this that our mentalities and mindsets revolve around the "outcome" of our jobs - wages. Because we are in hard times, our minds are temporarily switched from "consuming" mode to "conserving" mode. C.S Lewis states in "Why Work?":

"Do you realize how we have had to alter our whole scale of values, now that we are no longer being urged to consume but to conserve? We have been forced back to the social morals of our great-grandparents. When a piece of lingerie costs three precious coupons, we have to consider, not merely its glamour value, but how long it will wear. When fats are rationed, we must not throw away scraps, but jealously use to advantage what it cost so much time and trouble to breed and rear. When paper is scarce we must – or we should – think whether what we have to say is worth saying before writing or printing it. When our life depends on the land, we have to pay in short commons for destroying its fertility by neglect or overcropping. When a haul of herrings takes valuable manpower from the forces, and is gathered in at the peril of men’s lives by bomb and mine and machine gun, we read a new significance into those gloomy words which appear so often in the fishmonger’s shop: NO FISH TODAY….We have had to learn the bitter lesson that in all the world there are only two sources of real wealth: the fruit of the earth and the labor of men; and to estimate work not by the money it brings to the producer, but by the worth of the thing that is made."

As you can see, the last part of this excerpt was in bold format, because it carried the central argument of C.S Lewis' article. Our selfish minds have separated the church from our work, or vocations. But what connection does the church have with our daily work? C.S Lewis makes the connection in the following statement:

"If work is to find its right place in the world, it is the duty of the Church to see to it that the work serves God, and that the worker serves the work."

As workers in this world and of Christ, we cannot focus on the output of our work - we must value the work itself. C.S Lewis states:

"..work is not, primarily, a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do."

But C.S Lewis argues that today's churches fail to make such connection. C.S Lewis states:

"I am persuaded that the reason why the Churches are in so much difficulty about giving a lead in the economic sphere is because they are trying to fit a Christian standard of economic to a wholly false and pagan understanding of work."

I, myself, would agree. As stated in one of my previous posts, in today's churches (especially among mega-churches), it is a common cliche to publish a "Christian" book showing the "best, effective Christian way to do ______", or "10 Ways to Improve your Christian Life". We struggle too much on the outcomes that benefit US and not our WORK that is meant for GOD.

C.S Lewis gives us a choice. He states:

"The question that I will ask you to consider today is this: When the war is over, are we likely, and do we want, to keep this attitude to work and the results of work? Or are we preparing, and do we want, to go back to our old habits of thought?"

Day 12 - Vocation in the Kingdom of God

Our Father in heaven...
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

- Matthew 6:9-10

When we think of the term "vocation", we think of a particular occupation, business, or profession. But in the Christian realm, we think of it as a "calling from God". It might be hard for many of us to picture how our future jobs would help fulfill our callings and serve God. Most of us think that serving God through our designated jobs include charity, spreading the Word mouth to mouth, and helping others. This is all true, but what about our own relationship with God and the spiritual growth that follows? To me, simply using one's job to help others seems like a one-sided thing. The job has to be more than a means of helping others; it has to carry an intrinsic value given to us by God. Does our jobs and occupations on earth reflect our kingdom in heaven? Is God's calling only limited to jobs and occupation?

Plantinga has several answers provided in this chapter, which gives insight to what role our vocations play in other people's lives, including ours. Plantinga states:

"A Christian's main vocation is to become a prime citizen of the kingdom of God - and this is true of every Christian, of artists and engineers as well as ministers and evangelists."

It is true - our ultimate vocation is not in our jobs and occupations, but in the realm of God. This means two things. First, our heavenly vocations meshes together all the kingdoms of our friends, teachers, family, and loved ones to our own. This unity amongst all people signifies our common vocation here on earth. Second, the focus on our well-being and that of others should be beyond this earth: unity with Christ.

It's truly heart warming to be reminded that amongst this diverse, separated world, we of all people share a common place in heaven. In C.S Lewis' article, "the Inner Ring", we all are categorized into many different rings; but we all are fallen within an inner ring of "God's children".

But on earth, we all are in different stages of our lives. Some of us might be married; others might be students; others professors; and others may be working. As college students at Calvin, our current calling (for most of us at least), is to be students. In C.S Lewis' other article "Learning in Wartime", it is truly important to have some sort of education in one's lives, so that after that certain period he/she may further pursue the mysteries God has placed amongst. So as students, it is our calling to not only study hard, but to also connect with others, love others, and challenge ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually.

We do not know what the near future has on store for us. Chaplain Dale Cooper once stated: "God's other name is 'Surprise.'" As people of the heavenly realm, we must commit to our callings, and pursue those callings aggressively and diligently. Doubts and hesitations may come in our way, but that is just the first obstacle that lies in our journey to Christ.

Day 12 - Man or Rabbit?

10 Ways to Starting a Healthier, Better Life (New York Times #1 Bestseller). I'm sure most of you have come across books with as appealing titles as this (including the shiny 'New York Times Bestseller' words shining on the bottom). Christians or non-Christians alike want some sort of life that will maximize their happiness during their daily lives on earth while maintaining that "good" status. In other words, we all want to find some kind of common ground because of our uncertainty of the afterlife. In C.S Lewis' article "Man or Rabbit", he lays down a strict line between the non-Christians who make "honest errors" and those who make "dishonest errors". For example, people like Socrates sought many different aspects in life to search for the "ultimate good" in life. He died not knowing the good Word of Christ. C.S Lewis mentions about people like Socrates, stating:

"If their intentions were as good as I suppose them to have been (for of course I can't read their secret hearts) I hope and believe that the skill and mercy of God will remedy the evils which their ignorance, left to itself, would naturally produce both for them and for those whom they influenced."

But there are people who make "dishonest errors" - C.S Lewis exclaims:

"To such a main it might be enough to reply that he is really asking to be allowed to get on with being 'good' before he has done his best to discover what good means."

There are some good examples stated in the text that expands upon this idea. One good example follows:

"But to evade the Son of Man, to look the other way, to pretend you haven't noticed, to become suddenly absorbed in something on the other side of the street, to leave the receiver off the telephone because it might be He who was ringing up, to leave unopened certain letters in a strange handwriting because they might be from Him - this is a different matter."

For those who make this "dishonest error", it seems like the important point of missing from their minds. C.S Lewis states that "mere morality" the end of life. As Christians, there is simply so much more in life than living a good, moral life and then dying with a good conscience. He states: "But the Divine Life, which gives itself to us and which calls us to be gods, intends for us something in which morality will be swallowed up."

We cannot live a "good life" without Christ, C.S Lewis states. When hiking the steep, treacherous mountain of morality, we cannot do it on our own. Once our heavy ropes and axes are blown away by the cold wind, the rest is a matter of flying with our God-given wings.

Day 11 - Inner Ring

Looking back at high school, I remember looking at the soccer team with absolute envy in my heart. Because my school's soccer team was so prestigious, every member of the soccer team would be looked at with appreciation and treated fairly better than the other non-soccer players. I was jealous of their status as the school's "Overlords" and "Elite". I personally enjoyed playing soccer too, which added onto my desire to join the team. Unfortunately, because of my short legs and weak stamina, I was eliminated after the first rounds of tryouts. Pretending not to care, my heart yearned for a spot amongst the "inner circle", so that I, too, would feel better of myself as an "important" part of the Forest Hills Central high school.

Such burning desire to be fitted into an "inner ring" is what C.S Lewis talks about in his article "The Inner Ring". In the article, which seems to be directed to college students, C.S Lewis opens up a world of rings which are classified by other inner rings and those rings are founded in other inner rings and... you get the point. In this limitless world of rings, we all are classified under some sort of ring, but sometimes we yearn to be in the inner circle of other rings. Work, school, friends, sports... as college students we all fit into several of these rings. C.S Lewis points out that as we move on beyond college, when we come in contact with "whatever hospital, inn of court, diocese, school, or business...", we will find the Rings.

But it is the kind of inner rings we join and desires we feel that impact the evil that lurks among us. For example, I discovered near the end of my senior year that most kids on the soccer "circle" were involved in several kinds of drugs. I also realized that the envious desire I had felt in joining the soccer team had destroyed my inner perception of the intrinsic value of the very thing I was passionate about: soccer. Instead I was too preoccupied with my sense of belonging in a certain group.

C.S Lewis states clearly in the article that the existence of Inner Rings is certainly unavoidable. Nor are these Inner Rings evil. The question lies in the purpose of each Inner Ring. For example, the inner rings of gangs and family would certainly be different. Adding on to this, it is also important to check on the desires that come with wanting to join a certain circle. It is important to check yourselves, as college students, now and then to make certain that your intentions and desires are at the right place.

Day 10 - The Four Loves: Eros

In this world, C.S Lewis states, are the four loves: Storge(Affection), Phileo(Friendship), Eros (Love between the sexes), and Agape(Unconditional love).
Of the four, Eros seems to be the most misunderstood, as it seems to be closely associated with the act of sensual love, Venus. In today's society, we simply see Eros and Venus as a single thing: sex. But C.S Lewis wants to distinguish the animal-like nature of Venus from the divine element "Eros".

C.S Lewis describes Eros as an extremely fragile element - if one goes overboard in his/her sensual desire or focuses specifically on the very feeling of Eros itself, then Eros can be destroyed in a close bond between the sexes.

To clarify the role of sexual desire, C.S Lewis states that within Eros, sexual desire is simply a “mode of perception”. For example, our desires tells us what we need or want. Thirst tells us that we need water to sustain ourselves. Like thirst, our sexual desire gives us pleasure, but that is not the true role of sexual desire in Eros. When two lovers become united, they become connected in body and spirit. Sexual desire is aroused during such delicate process. The person of the opposite sex reaches out to the other, the beloved - the desirable one. C.S Lewis states that unlike Eros, Venus (the act of love), can be "mischievous, animal-like, more elf-like than Goddess-like." In mainstream-media today, Venus seems to be portrayed as the ultimate goal for pleasure-seekers. It misdirects one's focus on the beloved towards his/her own desire for the sensual pleasure.

This change of focus, C.S Lewis states, transforms such unity to a self-centered, shallow experience. Pleasure cannot be found in an individual - it comes about between the sexes. To give this distinction between Eros and Venus more clarity, let us look at an example that can be relatable to all of us.

In Nicholas Spark's book At First Sight, Jeremy Marsh, a man who has recently survived a harsh divorce, is engaged to a girl named Lexie, who he barely knows. Lexie is pregnant, which is the main reasons why they have agreed to marry.
From start, we are already judging Jeremy as an irresponsible prick who is finally paying for his lack of understanding of "true love". But when going further in the book, Jeremy comes to know Lexie better - but he has to first break through the large, thick wall of unfamiliarity that exists between them. Jeremy comes to learn more about Lexie, mostly through his own personal hardships in his previous failed marriage and the new hardships that occur between them. Surprisingly, the growing hardship brings them closer together rather than separate, and Jeremy and Lexie become a single, throbbing entity of love and spirit. Sadly, Lexie passes away during childbirth and Jeremy is left with a child to care for. But in the midst of this sadness, Jeremy finds a joy - a joy he found in Lexie, which is passed on to his child.

Unlike the natural progression of love we would expect, Jeremy and Lexie share an intimate pleasure in one another - physical at first, and then spiritual. Through the spiritual connection, we can see that eros has indeed been a major part of Jeremy and Lexie's rocky relationship. And we have also learned that eros does not always have to be between two lovers - it can passed down and continued between parent and child. This new form of love is also known as Storge (or "affection").

This deep, intimate connection between the loves shows that each love, including Eros, is a distinct, fragile entity that is not meant to be altered or morphed into something that serves the human pleasure only. It is meant to be set free, to be looked at from a "carefree, indifferent perspective", because this unconditional love for one another reflects God's flawless love for every one of us - it should not be spoiled, but enjoyed for what it is.

Day 9 - Learning in Wartime

A few blog posts ago, I was discussing about C.S Lewis' love of learning and education. C.S Lewis believed that once a person had received a certain amount of education, he was able to pursue learning in area which he wished to study in.

Like this, C.S Lewis continues to talk about "learning" in his article "Learning in War-Time", but in a different context - during war. One may wonder why C.S Lewis would try to talk about learning and war together. But looking deeper into the article, we can see C.S Lewis' emphasis on the importance of learning. I'm guessing that one of C.S Lewis' main points was that whether we are immersed in wartime or not, learning is a crucial part in a person's growth. It might be a sad truth, but we humans are all bound to die eventually. War-Time simply helps us remember the proximity of death. One might say: "Well, outside of war-time, life would be a lot more normal because there are no visible threats to our lives." But C.S Lewis would probably disagree with that statement. "Life has never been normal," he states in the article.

What about doing the things we love doing? Our career jobs, hobbies.. activities? If learning is so important, then do we devote all our time to it?
Once again C.S Lewis answers that something you are passion about, for example, like learning to swim to save lives, is something "worth dying for, but not worth living for." Even learning itself, if nothing else is done and one spends his/her entire time studying away, they would become a "monomaniac", C.S Lewis would state.

With a basic balance between learning and other cherished values in your lives, you would help become a more "responsible" Christian. A scientist for example, C.S Lewis would state, recognizes certain common errors from experience in the past. Like this, through learning and experience, we Christians can learn from the past mistakes in the past and become a more "responsible" Christian. Whether we are in war or not, it is important learn, learn, and LEARN.

Day 9 - Redemption

After the Fall, Adam and Eve were banished from the garden of Eden, naked and shamed. But then "the Lord God made garments of skins for the man and for his wife, and clothed them" (Genesis 3:21). This first wave of God's grace and mercy was the first of the many to come.

Redemption. Why does God give us mercy and grace after we have brought sin into His creation? This question comes up in our minds as we talk about the ultimate act of forgiveness bestowed upon us. Even later in the Bible, Jesus Christ himself comes to earth for atonement of our sins. This even bigger question comes up in our minds as well.

Answering the second question, Plantinga states: "The main reason is that we human beings can't atone for ourselves." This statement is very true. We forget that we are responsible for our sins and cannot be undone. But Jesus Christ washes all those sins away, giving us ONE chance for us to make a change. Once saved, we are "born again" Christians. This "lifelong conversion", Plantinga states, is called "sanctification." But what starts this lifelong conversion towards sanctification? Plantinga states:

"Regeneration."

We people were dead because of sin - but out of the blue, Christ's love for us fueled us and slowly got our rusty, corroded gears to move once more. It truly is a miracle isn't it?

So several key words stuck out to me in Plantinga's Redemption chapter. Some main words were: free, unlimited, overflowing, infinite, true, perfect, marvelous, inexpressible, and holy. All these words describes God's grace to us. What makes it so important. It's free. At what cost? None.

For us human beings, our logic is quite simple: we give and take, we sell and buy, and we borrow and repay. Even if we give something to others for free, our minds automatically expects some sort of repayment, whether it is money, kindness, or attention. It is hard to be like Christ, who cleared the world's ugliest, dirtiest, and most horrible sins so that we may reach salvation. But God does not only regernate and sanctify, Plantinga states. God also forgives and reconciles by a sheer act of grace.

How wonderful is that?

The Sermon and the Lunch

Coming home, we take off our disguises of social norms and customs and plump down on our chairs, laughing to our heart's content. Home seems to be a place where one can truly be "free" with your family - that is, to argue whenever, treat others with disinterest, and disregard all signs of respect you would normally show to strangers. These acts of disinterest and blunt nature may come from knowing each other for all your life. But there seems to be a slight problem with that, according to C.S Lewis' observation.

In his short article "The Sermon and the Lunch", C.S Lewis tells a story of a pastor who gives a sermon about the meaning of home. As the main character, C.S Lewis criticizes the hypocrisy of the preacher - not necessary because he was insincere, but because he does not mention the full meaning of home. Home life, C.S Lewis states in the story, is difficult and has, like every form of life, its own proper temptations and corruptions. Home being a place of rest and love, happiness, and peace is simply a false image wrought up by sentimental tradition.

To further support this observation, C.S Lewis brings the reader to his lunch experience with the pastor's family. The pastor, having to regard for what his son has to say, interrupts him constantly. The mother and daughter quarrel over what the neighbor had to say about them. C.S Lewis watches on quietly, as the lunch party turns to ruins.

Seeing the other side of the Pastor's sermon, C.S Lewis makes important points in which the pastor was incorrect. Kindness, love, generosity, and understanding may start in the family, but unkindness, hate, selfishness, and misunderstanding starts in the family as well. Home should be at the core of one's life, and spread out to the public. Once we strengthen our understanding of both good and bad relations we may be able to become "ourselves" at both the home and the public. Home shouldn't become a place where you unleash your anger and stress towards others in private. "Freedoms in which they indulge themselves at home have ended by making them unfit for civilized society," states C.S Lewis. That is why home seems to be a burden for most of us - because we have kept up with this artificial public image for too long.
If were home to be truly place of peace for one, then he/she would have to embrace the reality of pain and struggles that comes with such title.

Like this, our images in public and at church before God might have many differences. To God, we are "open" and "humble", but in public and at home we are actually "closed" and "proud". Not only are we artificial beings before others, but to God as well. We seem to "understand" reality and all the good and bad things that surround us, but in actuality we are lying to ourselves. We are afraid of society's judgment on our exterior appearances. We are afraid to be judged. We are afraid, but do not feel it that way, because we have lied to ourselves for so long. God sees right through all of us - the best we can do is to be truly open to the criticisms and comments of others, whether it is harsh or not, because it is a part of growing up to be a stronger Christian.

Day 8 - The Fall

The Creation. Then the Fall. Of mankind. Plantinga states in Chapter 3 of his book about a sin that permeated throughout generations from a single, innocent sin. Looking at our own sins, we see many things which we want to hide from the others, but cannot because they are shown through our mouths and actions. We may feel that our sins come from our unmoral actions, thoughts, and beliefs, but that is not the only sin we possess. There is a reason why we were all born sinners. We were separated from God since Adam and Eve ate from the tree of good and life. It is because of this original sin we are all born sinners and alienated from the eternal garden of God. Plantinga states that we human creatures are "aliens" and "foreigners" to the land here.

To make matters worse we all have developed sins of our own. Across the world you can see pain, both physical and psychological, occurring from rape, abuse, murder, theft, lust, lies, and greed. As Plantinga states, many philosophers come up with many "prescriptions" such as education, justice, and freedom - but eventually they all are crestfallen by the evil that has accumulated in mankind.

Personally, I find it scary that sin has become a basic part of our functioning: thoughts, actions, and even beliefs. It has shielded our eyes from the other end of our relationship: God. We see sin to be the opponent - separate from us. But in actually, it has penetrated into every function in our body. We live it, breathe it, and express it. Yet we sometimes forget to see where the problem really lies. Plantinga mentions the ignorance of man, stating:

"We think that the usual diagnoses and prescriptions catch part of the truth, but that they do not get to the bottom of it. Human problem isn't just ignorance; it's also stubborn pride. It's not just oppression; it's also corruption."

This lack of perception slowly becomes a poison for us, leading us further and further away from the "ultimate good", or summum bonum. And it doesn't only lead us away - it also distorts our worldview and self-value. We learn to focus solely on the things on earth and worry about our daily necessities, so that we may live to see the next day. Our purpose seems to shift from spiritual growth to basic survival.

But we must not be dismayed, because although mankind may be changed, the kingdom of God never does. Plantinga states:

"The glory of God's good creation has not been obliterated by the tragedy of the fall, but it has been deeply shadowed by it."

As finite beings, our eyes are constantly being shadowed and cleared before God. We roam restlessly across the earth, going about our daily lives, seeking for a purpose. Enveloped in sin, our present society reflects the end-product since the Fall. We must recognize that our time here on earth is short, but heaven is eternal and will never fade away.

Day 8 - The Poison of Subjectivism

According to Webster's New World Dictionary, Subjectivism(n.) means "an ethical theory holding that personal attitudes and feelings are the sole determinants of moral and aesthetic values." Postmodern society, C.S Lewis states, is a prominent example of a society blinded by subjectivism. In Mere Christianity, C.S Lewis introduces the universal "Moral Law", which he continues to support in his article "The Poison of Subjectivism". So why is it that postmodern society disagrees with the moral law through subjectivism? C.S Lewis stated that subjectivism started in mankind when "man began to study himself after the environment". Soon after, he states, "his own reason has become the object".

So now that this subjective view has permeated into society through generations and generations, C.S Lewis states that postmodern society has come up with two major lines of defense:

1)Traditional morality is different in different times and places.
2)To tie ourselves to an immutable moral code is to cut off all progress and acquiesce in stagnation.

Using the Socratic method, C.S Lewis open argues against each line of defense, continuing to support the Moral Law.

C.S Lewis' first argument against the first defense goes something like this:

"Wherever it is simply false and should be contradicted in season and out of season wherever it is met." He points out that universally accepted values might not show through. However, we find exactly what we should expect if good is indeed something objective.

His second argument against the second defense goes as follows:

"Does a permanent moral standard preclude progress? On the contrary, except on the supposition of a changeless standard, progress is impossible." By progress is impossible, I believe C.S Lewis is trying to state that our ideas of the "good might change, but they cannot change for the worse if there is no absolute and immutable good to which they can recede." Take ideologies for an example. Communism is a mere innovation of a traditional morality- distorted and adjusted so that it could fit into the ideology.

With the criticism of these two defenses, C.S Lewis stands by his belief that there IS indeed a moral law which cannot be deserted for 'mere innovation'. I believe that this stance is important for us, because as all common creations of God, we all share a universal value or law which takes into account every single one of us - whether or not we can see it in our own culture and time period.

Day 7 - The Parable of the Talents (part 2. show and tell)

A few posts ago I talked briefly about Jesus' parable of the talents. During the past week, I kept referencing back to the parable, focusing on what the text was trying to express. One specific topic we covered in class kept running across my mind: glory. As I mentioned in the previous post, the last servant does his duty of "preserving" his master's one talent. But unlike the two other servants, who went out to the world and doubled the master's talents, the last servant went the "safe way" of going about. But despite our expectations, he is greatly frowned upon by his master, who is disappointed to see his servant's lack of productivity.

So the point of the parable is? Be more productive? Apparently not.

When considering the fact that we are all God's images, I'm sure there is more to the parable. I've stated this many times before, but we all have bits of God's glory hidden in each and every one of us. Like the Creation being a reflection of God's glory, we too have some of God's glory reflected upon us. To go out and spread the glory of God like a wildfire makes God's glory shine evermore. As God's sons and daughters, he rejoices over the celebration of his glory on earth through us. Though we may be like the last servant in the parable, we can still go out during our lifetimes and spread our talents into the vast world.

Day 7 - Mere Christianity

In Mere Christianity, C.S Lewis attempts to bring the reader to the very core (or the foundation) of Christianity. Unlike most articles you read nowadays, he does not attempt to convince one into one denomination over another. I believed this to be important, because C.S Lewis emphasizes a "Natural Law" which governs all people. He gives several specific reasons for no supporting such denominations, which also helps supports his natural law. So I would like to go over each reason he gives and give some insight into such reasoning.

The first reason for such according to C.S Lewis is when Christians of different denominations quarrel, they sometimes forget that it involve points of "high Theology or even of ecclesiastical history, which ought never to be treated except by real experts". I find this reason to be very profound, because generally, most denominations share many, many similarities despite some differences that separate each other. This focus on the differences may spur common Christians of each denomination to lose focus on the major similarities that bind them under CHRISTIANITY. So personally I can picture C.S Lewis exclaiming that high theology should be treated by experts only with a sarcastic tone.

The second reason he gives is that "we must admit that the discussion of these disputed points has no tendency at all to bring an outsider into the Christian fold". This too, was a important fact that most quarrelers overlook. Christianity isn't about simply converting people so that they could all go to heaven - it was about bringing them into the love of Christ so that they too, would spread this divine, irresistible love to others as well.

The third as final reason he gives is that "far more talent authors were already engaged in such controversial matters than in the defense of what Baxter calls 'mere' Christianity". This statement speaks for itself. Mere Christianity. According to what C.S Lewis says, it is more like a "hall out of which doors open into several rooms". We must focus on the rules which govern all aspects of Christianity and the very values which make who we are. While looking at each door, we must ask: "Are these doctrines true?" "Is holiness here?" "Does my conscience move me towards this?"

With these three reasons held dearly to one's heart, one's focus on mere Christianity may grow and develop into a more elaborate form of it, like a house built upon rock.

Day 6 - The Screwtape Letters

As Christians struggling spiritually within the real world, we are always given guidance and advice from our side of the table: through sermons, church leaders, fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, we can see the threats of evil from a more godly point of view.

However, there is a twist in this perspective. In the Screwtape Letters, C.S Lewis changes our perspective from God's side to the Devil's. In the book, two demons, Screwtape and Wormwood, discuss the ways of Christians, new or old, and how to lead them astray. Screwtape, older and more experienced demon, definitely knows the true fallibility of us Christians and the ways to lead us away from salvation.

While reading this exerpt from the book, I was ashamed and somewhat disturbed, because the ways of slowly turning away from God matched my description.

"As long as he retains externally the habits of a Christian he can still be made to think of himself as one who has adopted a few friends and amusements but whose spiritual state is much the same as it was six weeks ago. And while he thinks that, we do not have to contend with the explicit repentance of a definite, fully recognized, sin, but only with his vague, though uneasy, feeling that he hasn't been doing very well lately."

Going to church for about 19 years now, I can see that the church has totally become a routine-like part of my life. As someone stated in class today, my level of faith has become stagnant at a certain point. It does not grow any more - it is stunted. And here I stand, questioning the workings of God in my life as I continue on with other activities that hinders my faith. I feel insecure and uneasy about these activities, yet I continue on.

As Screwtape states: "This dim uneasiness needs careful handling". We can see form this statement that we are indeed falling into our own demise. It may come in many forms for many people: laziness, relationships, activities, etc. It may also come in simple choices you make, which can later magnify into a bigger complication.

So what can be done? I myself an struggling with this question every day. Despite knowing the slow and steady workings of evils around us, we are consciously being led away from the Light. Addiction, obsession, gratification, and others things are a part of being fallen human beings. It is hard to openly declare our innermost, darkness sins to those who are also struggling around us. We must try to divert our attention to the things God has given to us which remind us of Him. Family, friends, music, literature, and nature are just some of God's joys given to us from heaven. The small choices we make that lead us away little by little will accumulate into something that can destroy the God-given things we truly treasure.

One day we will be praised like the servants in Jesus' parable, by which the master says:

"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" (Matthew 25:21)

Day 5 - Creation

The Creation. A story of the creation of the universe. Or so it seems. Plantinga points out a peculiar characteristic of the text in Genesis: the constant mentioning of Jesus Christ and the ties that exist between the creation and Him. So questions of these ties and the significance of the Creation would arise.

In attempt to answer the first question, I would quote Plantinga, who said:

"Nothing internal or external to God compelled him to create."

But if this creation wasn't necessary, then it would logically follow that it wasn't accidental, because the intricate world composed of constant activities ranging from a micro level to a macro level would not have been created by some "doodling". So this shows that there is indeed a close relationship between God and his creation. Such unfathomable, magnificent creation would have to in some way reflect the infinite God. We humans learning many things about the world every day, despite the high-tech tools and machines we have developed. (Interesting fact: did you know that over 98% of the ocean is not yet explored? The deepest diving U.S submarine can only reach around 63% of the ocean floor)

The second question, the significance of the creation, can be explained a bit easier. Look around you. The colors, furniture, food, clothes, sound, artificial lights, and temperature were all somehow created through nature. It is truly amazing to fathom the fact that all things humans use, no matter how complex, was once a part of nature. This striking diversity of products derived from a seemingly simplistic environment reveals how things are discovered, learned, and understood from the work of God's creation.

Before going on further, it is important to note that our image and understanding of God cannot be seen directly in nature. Bits of God's hidden glory are concealed within everything: our neighbors, the trees, grass, animals, oceans, lakes, and so on. By looking deeply into one another and our surroundings, we can catch small glimpses of divine glory.

But a bigger question arises: what role do humans play in God's creation? Humans seem very different from everything else in the world. Nature itself seems to be fine without the existence of humanity, yet humanity is in desperate need for the existence of nature. Animals go about their business, foraging for food, hunting, mating, and sleeping. The ecosystems seem to have delicate structures: life ending and starting again, natural disasters coming and going, and the environment always changing from place to place. Everything seems perfectly in place - yet for the humans, we need more than simply basic necessities of food, housing, and clothing. We need entertainment, stories, music, feelings, and art to flourish and prosper. Because we humans also possess moral values, it makes it all the more different from the rest of creation.

This striking gift of free will has unfortunately brought out a great sorrow: sin. As humans throughout history struggled with corruption, God's creation suffered silently. As image-bearers of God, we must take up the great responsibility of care for the world; not just nature, but our brothers and sisters as well. Stewardship of the earth can only become a progressive force once we heal the wounded ties between ourselves. Whether visible or invisible, we can be assured that God works in ways which we cannot see, so it is our duty to do our part and become stewards of God's loving creation.

Day 5 - The Weight of Glory

Glory has been part of human desires - whether on a small or large scale, glory in human sense comes in many forms: rank, skill, and fame. In the beginning of C.S Lewis' article "The Weight of Glory", he states that most good men today (every 19 out of 20 people during his time period) believed "unselfishness" to be the greatest virtue. In comparison, C.S Lewis states, Christians of old would have said "love".

So what is the problem with this virtue? C.S Lewis states that the virtue of unselfishness "carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point." In other words, the virtues we consider important seem to carry somewhat a negative connotation, so "selfishness" might mean something we have to abstain from. As C.S Lewis observes, this emphasis on abstinence is not a Christian-like virtue of Love. Rather than truly wanting another person's well-being, we are abstaining or denying ourselves from taking up our crosses in order to follow Christ.

This observation reminds me of a scripture found in Matthew 25:14-30, the Parable of the Talents. In this parable, Jesus tells a story of a master and his three servants, who where each entrusted with a different number of talents depending on his skill. The first servant who had received five talents went out and traded with them, and made five talents more. The second servant who had received two talents went out and did the same, making two talents more. However, the last servant, who had received one talent, went out and buried the money. When the master returned, the first two servants were praised, and entered into the joy of the master. The last servant, however, was chastised and cast out into the darkness.

This parable reminds that we Christians must go out to grow and flourish with the "talents" God has already given us. Abstaining from reaching out to other brothers and sister in Christ puts us in the spot of the last servant, who does not contribute to the "divine glory of God". God has implanted in each and every one of us a talent - the choice is up to you to go out and grow and blossom through God's guidance.

God's glory is nothing like what we finite beings perceive of glory. It surrounds us, leads us, envelopes us, and lives in us. As stated in chapter 2 in Plantinga's book, God's creation is a reflection of God's glory. It is neither a "necessity nor an accident". It is simply part of what God's glory is. With this incomprehensible glory of God, it is indeed a burden for us to go out and be a "real ingredient in the divine happiness". But it is not a burden which slows us down; this burden means a golden opportunity for us Christians to experience the unlimited possibilities in the world God created.

Day 4 - Our English Syllabus

Education. A system in society in which people are further disciplined, set to standard, and developed to better equip people in society. For an average person like me, I view education as a frustrating but necessary step in developing one's basic understanding of the world, its functions, and events. C.S Lewis in the article "Our English Syllabus" introduces education and LEARNING, making various distinctions between the two. Once again, an average person like me would not see the distinction between the two, because is it would seem obvious that learning follows education. Therefore, learning is simply something derived from education - right?

C.S Lewis does not quickly fall into this assumption. He first observes that both education and learning contribute to the human flourishing. Humans, C.S Lewis observes, are different in comparison with animals in a sense that animals are wired to engage in a single activity without being distracted by leisure. This extra leisure for the humans gives them room for development to become more "human". Therefore humans need education to become part of "humanity". This statement made by Lewis may seem comical to many, because in a more literal sense, aren't we all humans already? What C.S Lewis means by such "becoming human" statement is that as we develop knowledge, we come to reason more and develop insight in our own capabilities, thus, making us "human".

Once something starts, it eventually has to end at some point. As you grow up mentally and physically, you become more mature and understanding - growing independent as you reach adulthood. Noting this growth, C.S Lewis states that our education has to end sometime - we must grow out of our own education and seek learning. Not only is this fully educated person independent and fully human, C.S Lewis states, this person has a strong enough educational foundation to pursue knowledge for the sake of learning. Whether his fellow colleague studies the same material or not, it does not matter. What matters is that the person is free to study or learn anything he/she wishes, rather than having to follow the system and study a bit of everything.

This coming of age and independence of education can be applied to us Calvin students as well. The time for us to pursue our own knowledge varies among people, but it should all begin sometime at college. Why? C.S Lewis states in the article:

"It follows that the university student is essentially a different person from the school pupil. He is not a candidate for humanity, he is, in theory, already human. He is not a patient; nor is his tutor an operator who is doing something to him. The student is, or ought to be, a young man who is already beginning to follow learning for its own sake, and who attaches himself to an older student, not precisely to be taught, but to pick up what he can."

It is not truly important that a person has to begin to learn by himself/herself during college. What is important is that the person recognizes his/her limit on the amount of education received and continues to educate or teach himself about things separately. True learning should take place within our own pursuit of what we seek to learn. As college students, we should begin to seek the things that apply to each of us on an individual level, and begin to grow and blossom as we use the seeds of education given to us during our younger years.

Day 3 - Longing and Hope

Since the brink of humanity, we humans have always had a deep, unquenchable longing for understanding and fulfillment as stated in the previous post). Whether it be spiritual "enlightenment" or physical achievement, we all hope and aspire to finally become the best that we could ever be. Despite such aspirations and hopes, C.S Lewis states:

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Reading this statement, I realized this statement contained a fragment of truth concerning all of us. We are indeed "far too easily pleased". Speaking for myself, I would think that graduating college and getting a stable, well-paying job is the final step in life. Perhaps getting married after and starting a family too. But this seems to be only a small part of the entire picture; my standards and goals seem to be limited only to this world. As a result, the struggles and pains I endure during this journey limits my own expectations and self-fulfillment because my longing cannot be fulfilled by the earthly treasures.

St. Augustine, one of the most powerful thinkers among the fathers of the early Christian church, believe that there was a final target of human longing. This ultimate source of fulfillment, called summum bonum (or "supreme good"), was the only thing capable of final quenching our "unquenchable longing". This summum bonum turned out to be no other than God Almighty himself. The Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the infinite God, and the Creator of heaven and earth was there from the beginning, watching our dissatisfaction in the world, waiting with open arms. It is so obvious, yet so blurry for us people to truly realize the unlimited love God has for each and every one of us - capable of filling our cups till it overflows. Plantinga Jr. quotes St. Augustine's very words:

"Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you....You were with me, and I was not with you."

The same thing goes for hope as well. Plantinga states that "longing is an ingredient of hope". Hope can be either good or dangerous, depending on where you reside your hope: within this world, or beyond its borders. Society seems to emphasize a dangerous kind of hope, which you can fulfill by portraying yourself as the sole creator and provider. But beyond the world, God's divine love seems to give a bright kind of hope for us people. Shalom, or "universal flourishing", results from one's residing his/her hopes in God. With the right ingredients of longing, love, and practice, we can create a kind of hope that resides among brothers and sisters of Christ rather than in oneself.

Day 3 - Right to Happiness

Modern media has expressed values which demand an extreme diversity in relationships, beliefs, and focuses in life. Although rich and diverse, this extreme variety could lead to contradicting values that harm a person's well-being and moral value. But who can draw the line between what values are harmful or not? Whether the values are harmful or not, the question in C.S Lewis' article "Have no right to happiness" poses the question: do all humans deserve the right to happiness? To further clarify, we humans all have a right to happiness. The question is, however, on what basis should we pursue such happiness?

Mr. A and Mrs. B in the article portray a shallow sense of happiness; their basis on the pursuit of happiness seems to be their emotional state. To maintain their emotional contentment, they must restlessly seek further peace by abandoning all their past connections and responsibilities. Although there is nothing wrong with seeking emotional peace, it seems to be immoral that their definition of "happiness" is correlated to emotional, materialistic things, which leads them to seek only those things.

"A man has a right to happiness," Mr. A states in the essay. Happiness? Who could ever argue against a man's right to happiness? Although every man/woman does has a right to happiness, it is important to look deeper into the definition of "happiness." As stated in paragraph 1, it is important to look at the basis in which people pursue happiness, but also important to look into the meaning of happiness. As diverse individuals within a diverse community, we all have different views on what happiness is. I, for instance, define happiness as Korean food, God, and Pokemon. So from this example you can perceive that happiness ranges from temporary things to more legitimate, lasting things. Happiness can mean the fulfillment of one's mind, soul, or body. It can also mean a completion of an event, work, or action. It can mean something beyond the physical realm - something abstract, beautiful, and unthinkable. The concept of happiness, however different, is deeply embedded within each and every one of our minds.

Now that the general definition of happiness has been addressed, we would usually focus on how such happiness is applied to the Christian, moral way of pursuing happiness. But this time it is different. C.S Lewis states something that totally goes beyond our expectations on what happiness means. In the article, C.S Lewis states that happiness does not only relate to lovey, joyful, bright, smiley things. Martyrs, missionaries, and other Christians oppressed because of their faith do not usually experience the same surge of physical or mental joy we people go through. Through constant oppression, pain, and hopelessness on a daily basis, it is not possible to live by the emotional state of happiness day by day. Instead, they must dwell in a more secure, concrete source of happiness; something that goes beyond our finite selves - God. We Christians who are not engaged in such intense missionary activities all around the world do not have the urge to devote our happiness to God, because of the visible forms of "entertainment" that surround us and tempt us.
Pursuing our happiness to satisfy our never-ending hunger cannot be relieved by anything in the world. We must remember to focus on the single, divine entity that surrounds us, guides us, and leads us on to the bright future.

Day 2 - Bulverism

The word "bulverism" derives from the fictional character "Bulver" - created by C.S Lewis himself, to portray people's tendencies of assuming the faults or wrongs of others without fully explaining the reasons for such fault. This dangerous tendency can be harmful for our well-being; in yesterday's essay "Meditation in a woodshed", our lack of balance between "looking at" and "looking along" leads to an unclear judgment of the other person. Like this, bulverism evokes unwanted arguments, tensions, and anger among brothers and sisters of Christ through short-sighted judgments.

One important point C.S Lewis talks about in the essay is the prevalence of bulverism throughout history, regardless of time, culture, and location. One example that shows the prevalence of bulverism is political ideologies throughout history. Communism, for instance, critiques capitalism in western societies, pointing out the faultiness of its governmental structure and negatives influences upon the people. However, Communism in turn is critiqued and criticized for its faulty governmental structure and negative influences on the people. This stream of never-ending critiques of ideologies shows the flaws that exist in every ideology. We people are finite beings living in God's infinite world - the best we can do is to provide others with clear, basic evidence to support his/her argument.

In class we also discussed many ways to prevent "bulverism" from occurring. One option offered by the class was to accept the our vulnerability to mistakes and remain humble. Another option was to focus on the provided information, rather than the actual person giving it. In a conversation there are so many biases, prejudices, and set beliefs that may prevent such constructive and open discussion. As stated in the essay, "Until Bulverism is crushed, reason can play no effective part in human affairs."

Day 1 - Meditation in a Toolshed

"You can step outside one experience only by stepping inside another," states C.S Lewis in his essay "Meditation in a Toolshed". This excerpt from C.S Lewis's famous essay reflects the two perspectives that exist in oneself: looking along or looking at. These perspectives can be translated in many different ways, yet they all point to the necessity for one to develop a balance between both perspectives.

In order to get to this final point, C.S Lewis offers some vivid examples of "looking along" and "looking at". Inside a toolshed, a bystander may perceive a single strand of dusty light shining onto the ground in the middle of the shed. To them, it may simply seem like a strand of light penetrating within the surrounding darkness. But when standing exactly underneath the light, a person may perceive what he never could perceive before: the beautiful sky, the trees, the birds.

Although this example may be leaning towards the favor of "looking at" the light directly, it shows that without the two perceptions, one would be engulfed in their own ignorance of either the outer or inner picture.

Another example C.S Lewis portrays is the savage's ritual dance, which is to help yield green crops and bring rain. As a bystander, looking along this savage's behavior, one might state that logically this dance is simply a fertility ritual as to the savage this dance requires every single drop of his passion, desire, and belief. This example points to another observation that was stated in class today: experience comes before understanding. To the bystander, rationality and logistics rule his/her mind: but although rational and logical, however, the bystander has never experienced the ritual through the savage's eyes. This lack of experience hinders the bystander from reaching total understanding, no matter how logical he/she is.

Overall, C.S Lewis seems to magnify the importance of the balance between the two perspectives. The reason for such necessity of the "looking at" perspective is because that it provides an intrinsic value that cannot be hindered by the criticisms and observations of others, who themselves are also being judged and evaluated by other people.

In today's society, where beliefs and values are extremely diverse, there is a long rot stemming between all members of society. Each person is either dwelling "along" or "at" the light. Yet existing societal taboos and views encourage such rot to continue. This prevents people from looking "along" and "at" things. One's reluctance to truly experience what it is like to be within the light suffers by failing to see the different picture. Another person's reluctance to go beyond the light and looking along the light itself suffers by failing to see the different picture as well.

C.S Lewis gives us a choice between the balance of the two perspectives. He knows that one solution does not work the same for everyone; instead, everyone must adjust the balance himself/herself in order for this balance to work. As an avid reader of C.S Lewis, I am looking forward to the amazing discussions on the life, works, and messages of this brilliant, yet humble author.